Fourth Quarter for my tutee has just begun and I’m starting it angry and quite frustrated. No more miss nice this time. I have a goal and we will achieve it! Results of her third quarter examinations just arrived and I felt really sad for her. I know that I did more than what I even expected from myself as I voluntarily stayed almost twice the amount of time I was paid for. My main focus last time was Math where her score was 66. Apparently, this is already the highest among all her exams. Clearly, Math is not the problem. I think the root is discipline to study more and her poor performance in Language which is very important in understanding concepts.
I go to her condo to teach her five times a week. I see the things around her and that is not the setup I want for my children. Experiencing this teaching ordeal has made me realize that one day, I may have to give up a career I love to be able to look after my kids especially during his or her formative years. I cannot bear knowing that my children are not growing properly as I work hard earning more than I need. There are more important things in life than money, and education and formation are some of them.
I need to be firm no matter how hard it is for me to do it. She needs to learn and her circumstance, where her parents are not around 80% of the time, motivates me to help her more. I’m just thankful that today, because I was so angry, I did not hear a single whine from her. Thank you, Lord. I personally think that having her parents supporting her daily or more times in a week will help her and breed her to become more respectful.
Teaching her makes me wonder how I was when I was a kid. I’m a late bloomer. I kept asking myself before why I couldn’t grasp subtraction when I kept doing it repeatedly. One day, I just got it. I remember being super shy in class back when I was in grade one. I would feel fulfillment in reciting even once in class. It gave me such weird thrill to talk in class until eventually, my good behavior was being acknowledged. I guess my confidence sprung from there. I remember vividly how I memorized the multiplication table during grade 2 and how my grade 3 Science teacher was the one who moved me to aim for first honor. That was the first time I felt confident more than ever and I will always remember Ms. Legaspi for believing in me when I did not.
I need to learn and show that I believe in her. There is time and hope.