Back when I was in grade school, things were simple. Things were black and white, right and wrong. Mistakes were questioned as I couldn’t understand how people could do bad things to others. Back then, I had a list of things to do and rules to follow. There were restrictions that were clearly needed to be followed due to consequences that may arise. I had a list of things to ponder upon whenever I examined my conscience for confession. It was so clear and simple.
Then came high school when I learned more about Christian Philosophy and Theology. Though things were still supposed to be black and white, my classes taught me that a person’s actions may be separated from who the person really is. That even though a person does evil things, this does not follow that the person is evil. I know that this is true because I would like to believe that people are innately good. Economists were even able to prove that there really is altruism in people.
Given this, no matter how black and white things should be, sometimes, it’s just so hard to simply forgive and forget. I guess this is where all the grays come in. Sometimes, even though you would like to believe that you’ve forgiven someone, it comes back to haunt you sometimes. It just creeps in no matter how hard you try to push it away.
I have friends who have broken up with their boy friends because of cheating issues but after a few months they still find it in themselves to forgive and go back to the relationship. Maybe, if I were still younger, I wouldn’t understand. It has never happened to me so I think it would still be a deal breaker but I think it would be a very complicated situation. I wouldn’t know what I would do until that situation presents itself.
When relationship problems of friends are shared to me and their decisions are in conflict with what I believe I would have done, I just stop and listen. I just try to understand and accept. Maybe things have a way of falling into place. Things are not black and white when it comes to forgiveness. There are miracles, faith and other unexplainable things called love that can endure many things. Maybe we just need to believe that there is good in everything?
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