I surprised myself yesterday by going back to ballet after 10 years. I knew I was bound to come back as I bought new ballet clothes almost a year ago. I guess I just needed the right motivation to come back and I’m glad I did. My dad currently has this brain condition where his nerves are quickly deteriorating that is affecting his mobility. Since he didn’t grow up with regular exercise, he doesn’t have enough muscles to support his walking. Now he has to walk every day to build muscle and fight the deterioration. There is no cure and the condition is genetic. Here I am, building back lost muscle!
I messaged Teacher Pam a few days ago telling her I was interested to dance again but I was worried on how to begin given I get toe cramps by simply pointing my toes. I definitely need to start slowly but surely. Yesterday, she told me to try Intermediate class first where I can stop at barre if I feel I could not continue. I came to class nervous waiting for the moment when I’d give up but I pushed until the end of the class hoping my adrenaline and will power will support me. Success! I finished the class with moments of imbalance and instability but I feel hopeful about the strength I’ll gain if I continue pursuing it.
Though I feel bruised and I can barely move right now, my 26-year-old body has not felt this great in a long time. The energy that ballet brings is something worth looking forward to and I’m very fortunate to have the time and opportunity to do so. I’ve been able to maintain my weight since high school with discipline in food and exercise through jogging and swimming once in a while but ballet brings a different kind of strength worth building back.
One day, I want to be able to share this joy of dance with my kids.
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